sry if you think i’m not a real little monster because i downloaded the born this way manifesto earlier before it was released! momma monster still loves me because, duh, i was born this way and you canNOT change that! didn’t you kno that she doesn’t really even make that much $$ from album sales? her mane income is like from merch and stuff so idgaf!
i downloaded the album earlier and i love it so much! it is like my new bible, and all you holier than thou “real” little monsters can just suck on my peen because hair highway unicorn government hooker heavy mental lover RIGHT????
So I went to a church for a study day type thing today...
So whatever. They had free food, and my growing potbelly will never turn down a free meal, especially during finals week when I feel entitled to whatever I please THANKS.
Anyways, we were driving there and as soon as we turned the corner I about shit my pants, it was one of those huge crazy churches, like the ones in Jesus Camp. I was expecting some quaint shit, ya know. A nice old couple that ran it and a few little snacks. But no. Nope.
ANYWAYS AGAIN, my Jewish friend and I were sitting in the quiet study room just doin our thang, gettin our study on so what who cares. She has a little cough, and the guy next to her keeps looking at her, and she and I were giving each other the eyes like “DSML DON’T SWEAT MY LIFE, BRO.”
So finally this dude turns to her and says, and I quote:
"Looks like you have a pretty bad cold, I’m sorry. Would you like a prayer?”
At this point, it is all I can do to keep from spitting/laughing in his face, and she just barely gets out a “sure”. So he asks for her hand and prays, out loud, that he hopes Jesus cures her cold. THEN he asks if she feels better. I literally could not look her in the eye for five minutes afterward for fear of bursting out laughing and likely being burned at the cross right then and there, inside of a mega church. Thank the lord I’m still here RIGHT??